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September 21, 2017 Some pregnancies are a surprise but no baby is a mistake.

As far as I can tell, there are three kinds of dads who willingly “leave” their kids. He packs up, he walks away, and he wants nothing to do with his child or his child’s mother. His self-centeredness and narcissism rank him among the most selfish human beings on the planet. Sadly, he’ll never fully realize what he left behind.How often is the full meaning of chastity declared to the married as it is to the single? The married should be reminded that they get to have sex, but only in a completely self-giving way that will produce children—probably more than they originally planned on, or think they can afford. You did what you had to do to “grow the church.” This represented a toxic combination of the mainstream belief in the church as a gathered community, Evangelical pragmatism, and ecclesial commercialism, the victims of which were people who didn’t provide enough “market share.” Catholic priests are not so crass, yet it must be difficult not to bend your preaching and your programs to the majority of your parishioners and to say what they want to hear.Preach a homily about the wonders of marriage and people respond happily; preach one about being single and only the single people say anything; preach one on the requirements of marriage, particularly being open to life, and people get angry.But, of any conscious pastoral concern for those who aren’t married there is little evidence, other than the formation of singles fellowships, which might help, but also “ghetto-ize” the single people.

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It might be a gesture of care but it can feel like an invitation to go away—the whole lot of you.That’s the great thing about becoming friends: they’ll be to you not “these unmarried people,” but John and Jennifer and Wesley.

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